Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Bad Behavior - Nip It in The Bud!

Take charge and correct problems in your environment when you BEGIN to see them so they won’t spread and get larger.

For example, when you IGNORE bad behavior (in your dog, your children, friends, employees, or anyone for that matter) you are CONDONING that behavior. We give people permission how to treat us - either by the things we say or fail to say to them.

Remember what Barney Fife said? “Nip it in the bud. Nip it, nip it, nip it!”

If someone mistreats and you don’t say anything to them about it, you have just given them permission to do it again. Don’t blame them for their meanness, blame yourself. You are allowing them to treat you that way.

This explains why some church people act so mean – i.e., it’s because some church in their past GROOMED THEM to BEHAVE THAT WAY by allowing them to get away with murder.

CONFLICT IS INEVITABLE. Pastors probably have to deal with it more often than other leaders. We are leading hundreds of different people with different personalities, all of whom have different opinions and views. Fireworks are sure to follow.

Some leaders are so afraid of conflict they will let problem people hang around far too long causing even more trouble. When I hear of an issue that needs to be addressed, I waste no time going to the person and dealing with the matter. By confronting the issue quickly, I have taken control of the situation rather than allowing the person with bad behavior be in control. This keeps PCC healthy and harmonious.

Bad behavior is UNACCEPTABLE at ANY LEVEL. The reason it runs so rampant in churches is because we church-people like to take (what we erroneously call) the “high road” by avoiding conflict and simply allow things to slide. Rather than going away, this perpetuates the problem and strengthens the bully.

Besides, it’s NOT EVEN BIBLICAL to let people get away with stuff like that. Jesus said in Matthew 18:15-18:
  • “If your brother offends you GO TO HIM ALONE” – which means to CONFRONT the person about their behavior, and to do so privately.

  • Next Jesus said, “If He doesn’t hear you go back with WITNESSES – in other words, TAKE IT UP A NOTCH and incease the pressure.

  • Finally, if the offending person still refuses to listen, “TELL IT TO THE CHURCH” – which means it is time to GO PUBLIC and expose the person for what they are!

This ISN’T EASY, but it is BIBLICAL.