What Audience Feedback Means – Especially to Preachers

Billy Joel gets it.

This veteran entertainer does something I find fascinating. 

According to The New Yorker (October 27, 2014), Joel “grew tired of having to look out at the fat cats in the two front rows, the guys who’d bought the best seats, and then sat there projecting a look of boredom that says…. ‘Entertain me, Piano Man.’”

It was dampening his own enthusiasm, and that of his band, to have the non-responsive types on the front two rows.  He wanted the fans nearest him to be enthusiastic participants in the evening’s activities.

That’s why “Joel’s people stopped selling the two front rows and instead send the crew into the cheap seats before the show to hand out tickets to people of their choosing.”

“Joel believes it helps buck up the band.”

I believe that.

Every preacher knows.

Preachers pour their heart into the message over which they have labored and prayed.  We really want our listeners to “get it.”  As my eyes roam over the room, my gaze fixes upon the most responsive church members.

The stand out.

In one section, two or three people are delighting in God’s message, their eyes are literally alive with joy and appreciation.  In another, someone’s facial expression says they are enthralled, as caught-up in this message from the Lord as I am.  Over here, a woman is weeping and in this section, a man fist-pumps.  Some anonymous person calls out, “Amen!”

Last Sunday, for instance, was such an example.  The favorable response was off the chart.

They have no idea of knowing the positive effect their response has upon me, the preacher.

Later, I almost feel like seeking them out to thank them.  But I do not do this, because the sermon is not about me.  I’m not trying to win them over to myself, but to the Lord.  I don’t want to make them feel overly self-conscious about the effect they have on me while I'm in the pulpit, lest it influences them in the future.

I want them to worship God, and draw near to the Lord Jesus.  That really is my (and any pastor's) highest motivation.

Yet, in another sense, the frowners and naysayers in the congregation have almost as strong a negative effect upon me as the faithful have in a positive way.  

But not quite.

Why?  This is not a concert and I am not Billy Joel.

I am called by God to preach His Word regardless of the response.  I am to pour my heart into it no matter what kind of visual or oral response I receive.  However people respond – favorably or otherwise – my job is to faithfully discharge my responsibility.

If I stick close to the Scripture and some naysayers object, their controversy is with God, not me.  

It's very liberating to realize that.

Before becoming a pastor I spent a few years preaching in jails to inmates and in nursing homes to the residents.  As I spoke to the hardest men in the place, or those out of their minds, I labored to be heard over the foot-stamping and the chorus of throat-clearing, and the smell of urine hanging in the air.  I was young.  It was where I cut my teeth so to speak.  I wondered if I was “casting my pearls before the swine,” to use the Lord’s unforgettable metaphor.  Or, did I do the right thing by continuing the message for the sake of the few who were straining to hear.  It’s hard to know for certain.

After I entered the pastorate, I experienced the same disrespect in, of all places, church.  I know first-hand what it’s like to encounter church members who seem to be dedicated to undermining the preacher.  They are easy to spot:  arms folded and a scowl across their face throughout the entire message.  

Once, I even watched a man clip his fingernails in the pew while I was speaking.  And yes, the clicking sound could be heard throughout the sanctuary as his nasty nails were being severed and fell to the floor.

It was the height of indecency.  

I used to be an associate pastor on staff in a church in Pensacola.  The head deacon would sit in a chair (high back throne) on the platform behind me when I was preaching.  He also did this with the senior pastor.  It was horrible.  As I taught, people in the congregation would look at him – reading his facial expressions – to decide whether or not to ‘buy in’ to the message.  If he was smiling and nodding up and down, great!  If he was scowling or shaking his head back and forth in a negative manner, it was like throwing cold water on the entire service.

Even the congregation picks up on front-row fat cats.

Billy Joel gets it.

And that, we might say, is why scowling members do not sit on the platform at PCC when God’s Word is being preached.  In fact, no one (except the speaker of the day) (not always me) is on the platform when God’s Word is being declared.  It minimizes distractions and the influence of naysayers.

As much as possible, we try to create an environment where God's Word is unencumbered; so that it might accomplish its intended purposes.

And it works.

It’s also why we have some of our best bright-eyed, Jesus-loving, Word-hungry men and women sitting on the front row!

The same hold true for our greeters and ushers.  

Only the radiant need apply.

Should a Pastor Ever Retire?

...but at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer (Numbers 8:25 NIV)

Some people might say, “The Bible doesn’t say anything about retirement for ministers.”  Most of the time I would just let it go, but I’m feeling a little feisty today, so here’s my reply, “Sure it does.  The Old Testament priests were required to retire from active duty at the age of fifty.”  (That’s Numbers 8:25).

There it is, in black and white.

And to think.  I could have retired seven years ago. 

I have no idea why the Lord stopped the service of OT priests at that age, unless to give others a chance to serve.

That doesn’t mean that God would un-call me so I could sit around doing nothing.  All those OT priests were bi-vocational anyway.  They had a line of work to return to after their temple service; usually their farm or agribusiness. 

There is no getting away from the call that God has given me.  That assignment, however, is not rigid.  God’s call is fluid, meaning the role and duties may change.  It means my status could change too.

The day comes when every pastor cleans out his office and turns it all over to a younger generation.  That can be, and should be, a good thing.

Here are few suggestions for anyone considering retirement (including pastors)

1.  Figure out what to do with the rest of your life.  For most of us, having to mow the lawn and rearrange the tools in the garage is not enough motivation to get out of bed in the morning.  We need bigger things than this.  Give thought early on what you will do when you can no longer pastor the church.

2.  Find out where the old geezers in your town meet for coffee.  I’m tempted to say that this will be your new office.  It’s not, of course.  But having such a place is a good thing.  If you don’t connect with the other retirees in your town, consider starting your own group.

You will need some buddies, mostly just to laugh with, talk politics with, and to help one another keep your sanity.  Most of these guys won’t be preachers like you, so mostly be quiet for the first 20 visits or so.  Otherwise, they will yield to you (because you are the professional speaker) and that will completely change the character of the morning visits, and before long they will resent your presence.  So, be quiet and laugh at their jokes for a while.

3.  Plan to get out of the house for a couple of hours every day.  Go to the bank, the hardware store, the post office, the drug store, or whatever.  The daily excursion will give you something to do – and will give your wife some peace and quiet without being under her feet all day long.

The day will come for me when I retire from being “the pastor, but  I will never leave “the ministry."   I can do other things for the Lord.  We are always on duty for the Lord, whether anyone employs us or not.

I would continue being a personal witness for Christ… write Christian articles… mentor new believers towards discipleship… help those in need… serve my neighbor…. teach a Sunday School class… fill-in as a guest speaker for other pastors on occasion... be deeply devoted to Christ…. contribute generously… and remain a diligent student of the Word.  Plus, I would devote more time to myself and my own family.

I would be doing ministry in hundreds of little ways.  People to people.  One life at a time.   Organically.  Not organizationally.

I might even start a business and simply become a Christian businessman.

In such a scenario, Sunday morning would come rolling around and I would not be the speaker that day.  I would be sitting on the pew (like everyone else), hold my wife’s hand, enjoying the church service, enjoying the music, bringing the Lord’s tithe as an offering in an act of worship, and listening to someone else deliver the message.  I would also be praying for a number of people who are on my heart.  

That’s ministry too, you know.

And I will be rejoicing that I am not the person that deacon Crenshaw wants to talk to after service with "some concerns" he has.  (Smiley face goes here).

After the benediction, I'll drive to the local greasy spoon to have lunch with a few friends, and then I'll spend the rest of the afternoon in my van down by the river.  (A big fat smiley face goes here).

What Makes Pastors Scream in Frustration!

Ten years ago, a man wrote the financial adviser of the Washington Post for advice.  He was planning to marry his fiancé of 18 months as soon as they dealt with her spending habits which were clearly out of control.  Her closet contained 400 pairs of shoes, many still new, and was overflowing with clothing.  She justified her spending habits by saying she worked two jobs and always looked for bargains.

The man asked the financial adviser, “What can I do to help her curb her spending habits without making her feel bad or as though I am putting her down?”

The financial adviser, a woman herself, Michelle Singletary, urged him to postpone the marriage.  They were not even close to being ready until this matter was solved.  She suggested pulling the credit reports, seeing what they revealed, and then finding a credit counselor.

That was ten years ago.

The other day, Michelle Singletary received an e-mail from that guy telling her what happened.  The news is not good.

He did none of the things Ms. Singletary had suggested.

After getting married, he learned his new wife owed $30,000 to the IRS and $15,000 in back taxes to the city.  He took out a second mortgage on his house to cover her debts, and now stands a good chance of losing his home.  He said, “I am on the brink of financial ruin and a failed marriage.”

This is why counselors quit and walk away.

People ask for your input, and when you knock yourself out trying to help them, they ignore everything you said and plunge headlong into disaster.

Many a pastor has concluded – based on his own experience – that all premarital counsel is a waste of time.  By the time a couple walks into his office about their upcoming nuptials, their hormones are raging, their minds are made up, their mammas are making plans, and all common senses is out the window.

They are not listening to a thing the preacher says.

The same is true for most of our counseling experiences.  We advise people, provide guidance, tell them what God says in His Word, offer our insights based on years of observation and experience, and pray over them.

Do they listen?  You know the answer to that.

It's enough to make you yank your hair out.

This is just one more reason – of ten thousand, I suppose – why ministers must be called by God into this work.  If we entered the ministry idealistically purposing to “better” people’s lives, we would soon quit in frustration and look for something else to do.

Granted, some do listen (to our advice and exposition of God’s Word in sermons) and we affect some people’s lives in a positive way.  This is not to say otherwise.  It is to say, however, that a greater percentage comes to us for counsel and then ignore everything we say.

If the truth be known, they want us to say what they want to hear.

It can be frustrating.

I've often pondered the mystery of why some people respond so well to the things of God, while others remain unchanged after years of investment in their lives.

To be honest, the answer escapes me.

This is precisely why we must leave the results to God.  We sow the seed, others water, and God brings the increase.  It’s all in His hand.  Not ours.

The man or woman who is genuinely called of God will get up each day and do their work – leaving the results to God – all the while knowing that God's people will persevere.  They hear His voice and respond to His Word.

In the process, you get over yourself and your frustration.

It’s very liberating.

I Feel Like the Preacher Targeted Me in His Sermon

People often tell me on Sunday mornings after the service that the sermon was specifically for them.  Jokingly and affectionately they will say things like, “You’ve been reading my mail” or “someone must’ve told you about me” or, on more serious note, “the Lord was really speaking to me today."

My response is always the same, “Only God’s Word can do that.”

And it's true.  Only God's Word can expose the motives and intentions of the heart (see Hebrews 4:12).

But for some, they feel like the preacher targeted them.  That he crafted his entire sermon about them and directed it to them.  (As if they are the focus of his attention and efforts).  

Here’s my response:

Don’t personalize everything that’s preached.  Obviously, every pastor teaches with the hope that everyone will take the message personally and apply it to his or her own life.  “If the shoe fits, wear it” is what we want people to do.

However, there are always a few in the congregation who think the minister has specifically targeted them in his sermon.  This is a common misunderstanding which causes people to get hurt.

Feelings of being targeted may occur if persons are (1) under conviction about a particular matter, (2) especially self-conscious or narcissistic, (3) under emotional distress, (4) if they have spent time in counseling sessions with the pastor, (5) if he has previously corrected them on some matter.

Keep in mind, a pulpit teacher does not focus his attention solely upon one person.  His concern is for the broad ranges of people in attendance.

Occasionally people think their pastor focuses on them in the same way they focus on him.  For instance, when a pastor stands in front of a congregation week after week, they develop a feeling of close friendship with him – they come to know personal details of his life, his family, and others traits.  However, even if the pastor knows each person in his flock, it’s not really possible for him to concentrate on each person with the same detail as they do on him.  It’s easy to for dozens of people to know him well, but not realistic for him to know dozens in the same way.  Consequently, they develop the illusion that the pastor focuses on them when he preaches – that he remembers their personal details in the same way they remember his. 

But the pastor has too many other people to consider.

He counsels with dozens of people, and hears scores of other similar problems and details.  It’s unlikely he will single someone out and preach at them, while trying to minister to the whole congregation.  If there is something specific the pastor needs to say only to you, he will do it; he will deliver it to you personally, in private.

And neither should he avoid certain topics just because he happens to know the details of people’s lives.   God’s Word should be taught without fear or favoritism.

Besides this, it is the job of the Holy Spirit to personalize God’s Word to every member in the Body of Christ so that we will examine ourselves and search our own hearts.  When the Lord is dealing with us about His Word, it might seem like the pastor is speaking directly to us, when in fact it is the Holy Spirit .

The best attitude to have is to listen to each message objectively.  In every sermon (that comes from the Bible), God has something to say to us all.  Be open to whatever the Lord would say, and willing to accept His correction or guidance.  Defensiveness is usually as sign of resistance to conviction.

As challenging as it may seem sometimes, the church is God’s plan for His people, and it is in the context of community and corporate worship that God will develop and mature you into a fully equipped disciple.  

Trying to be Cool verses Bearing the Reproach of Christ

Dear Pastor,

Stop trying to be cool.

It’s a trap.

When people who are outside that faith – that is, they have no appreciation for Scripture, the call of God, the blood of Jesus, or the penalty of sin – keep complimenting you on your coolness, you can get in danger real quick.

The moment he craves those compliments is the moment he begins to order his life and ministry by the coolness factor.  If he preaches a certain doctrine he knows his friends will not appreciate, he will water it down or conveniently find another topic.  If he speaks up for a particular value, they will suddenly find him uncool, so he mutes his message.  Accordingly, he wears his hair and arranges his clothing that will make him appear cool.

It’s a seduction.

Someone once asked an old time preacher, “If I follow Jesus, do I have to give up the world?”  He answered, “If you get truly converted, you won’t have to worry about that.  The world will give you up!”

John the Baptist wore camel hair and ate insects.  They called him mad.

Anything but cool.

Jesus attended wedding parties and was called a winebibber.

Again, not very cool.

In the OT sacrificial system, the carcasses of animals were burned outside the city, away from the general population.  It was too unpleasant to see.  The writer of Hebrews in the NT draws a parallel with the Lord Jesus dying outside the city gates (Heb. 13:11-13), and then makes this application:

In the same way, “we Christians should go with Him outside the camp – that is, away from the crowd and flow of culture – and thus bear His reproach.”

It’s an ideal metaphor, one that speaks perfectly to our situation.

• Woe to the man or woman who longs to be accepted by the world.

• Woe to the Christian who wants to be trendy rather than striving to hear God say, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

• Woe to the preacher who orders his sermons and selects his topics that will keep him cool in the eyes of friends and unbelievers.

• Woe to the pastor who shies away from certain subjects taught in Scripture because people will turn away from him.

• Woe to the one calling himself a disciple but who discounts any scriptural teaching that conflicts with todays accepted values.

• Woe to the cowards who want God… but fear rejection from the world.

Let us never shy away from bearing the shame of the Lord because we prefer acceptance of the world.

God help us.

We cannot have it both ways.

Staccato Preaching

Preacher, stop yelling and talking so fast.  It’s unnerving.  And unnecessary. 

Fast talk, loudness, rapid-fire delivery, and overpowering theatrics take away your listeners’ ability to think about what you’re saying.  All that demonstration is distracting.  And it feels like you're attacking people.

The staccato delivery of some preachers – of some entire denominations – is a wonder to me.

It’s not in the Bible.

They’re clearly learning it from one another.

As though people in the Bible imitated Jacob’s limp or Moses’ lisp.

Come on, guys.  Stop it.

Nowhere in Scripture do we see Jesus shifting into oratorical overdrive and putting on a show or demonstration for people.  Instead, He talked to them, explained things, and taught them.

Scripture even says He “sat down” to teach.

Stop pacing back and forth on the stage like a caged lion, waving your arms wildly in the air, and trying to wax eloquent.  It’s distracting, immature, and doesn’t add one iota of anointing.

Identifying Pulpit Teachers for PCC

2 Timothy 2:2 (KJV) And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.  

(NIV) And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.

The primary role of a pastor is to maintain the purity of God’s Word, effectively teach it to the congregation, AND pass it on to the next generation intact.  I must do all that I can to identify “faithful men” and “reliable people” who can become godly teachers for our church.  If the church is weak, it’s because of weak teaching.  It’s my job to ensure we have strong teachers.

1.  In choosing others I have to be selective.  They must be proven “faithful” and “able to teach others also.”  Some pastors spend an inordinate amount of time with problem-plagued people who aren’t faithful.  Certainly those people need much love and tenderness, but unless they become faithful they will never make a difference for the cause of Christ.  While I never want to be insensitive to the needs of others, I do want to pour myself into those who will make a difference – those who are faithful and reliable.

2.  In choosing others I have to find those who will make other teachers.  Paul wanted Timothy to be a teacher-maker, and that’s what I want to be.  Beyond the issue of a man’s character is the issue of his giftedness to teach.  I have the gift of teaching and it’s the gift I seek to develop in others who possess it.

The Sunday morning pulpit is not a place for thrill-seekers, spare-time hobbyists, or those greedy of lucre.  The pulpit is a place where God’s Word is communicated, sound doctrine is taught, the church is guided, and God’s people are fed.  This position is reserved for those who understand the calling.

Inside the Mind of a Pastor

Have you ever wondered how pastor’s really think?  Here’s a peek.

Who Can I Talk to In Confidence?  People come to me all the time with their issues, whether it’s their marriage, job, kids, or questions about the faith.  I’m honored to pray with them and offer what counsel I can.  But sometimes I need someone to talk to myself.  I just don’t know who that is.  I’m afraid if I confided in people, they would use it against me.  Ask me how I know that.

Do People Really Appreciate What I’m Doing?  At the risk of sounding like a whiner, this feels like the most thankless job on the face of the earth at times.  I realize I’m not the only one with a tough job, but still, everyone wants to hear appreciation from time to time – something besides complaints and criticisms. 

I am overseeing a nonprofit organization (which is secular) AND doing spiritual work at the same time.  That is a difficult combination to manage.  Trying to comply with State and Federal Laws (that govern nonprofit organizations), while, at the same time, obeying the laws of God that govern His Church, is no easy task.

I truly believe that what I do matters for eternity, but I wish good people in the church would step forward with affirmation more often.  God knows, the critics and complainers seem to have no problem voicing themselves.  And then there are the abandoners; the people who just walk out of my life after I’ve done everything possible to minister, help, befriend, and include them.  That really stinks.

I Wish People Would Invite Me to Non-Church Events and Engage Me in Non-Church Conversations.  I like watching football and having dinner with people.  I am a fisherman, I like gardening, I enjoy spending time on the water, or just hanging out with people.  And I’d love it even more if the discussion didn’t revolve around church.  I know that some people will always act weird around me, but I crave normal friendships.  Everything doesn’t have to be so deep all the time.  Neither does it have to be about PCC’s latest drama.

I Hope My Kids Don’t Abandon the Church.  I know the statistics about young people abandoning the church and walking away from the faith.  And a pastor’s home is not exempt.  To be honest, this has always been a concern of mine.

Jesus talked about the futility of gaining the whole world and losing your own soul, and for me, it would be a complete failure to have a successful church but lose my family.  As much as I love PCC, I don’t love it enough to sacrifice my kids (or my marriage) for.  I've always believed that your family is your first ministry; I preach it that way and I have lived that way.  I will not sacrifice them on the altar of success or to the expectations of others. 

And for the record, I’m glad to say that both my grown sons have not abandoned the faith or the church.  For this, I am thankful.

When a Committee Goes Rouge

Church committees.  Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t’.  And always, they are unbiblical.

A true story:

Last week, a woman in another state sent a message to say that her nephew, an associate pastor – a young man with seminary degrees and several years of experience – had just received a visit from the congregation’s personnel committee.  According to this little group, the minutes of the business meeting in which he had been hired several years back identifies him as a youth director, not associate pastor.  Thus they are cutting his pay and hours commensurate with that position.  The woman wrote, “And he has plaques on the wall from the church identifying him as their associate pastor!”

Veteran pastors know what is actually happening here.  What it "AIN'T" is a group of faithful members trying to be true to the original vision.  What it “IS” is a bunch of power-brokers trying to do an end run around the pastor and trim the sails of a staff member, with the end result being to run him off.

Make no mistake.  That’s what the point of this is.

When Your Sermon Feels Out of Sync

Ever have one of those days?  It’s Sunday, you’re the preacher, and the sermon just doesn't seem to get off the platform.

Every pastor has those times.  Maybe it’s a difficult subject.  Maybe it's even more difficult to make interesting enough for your listeners to actually tune in to.  Or maybe you just don’t feel good physically.  Maybe you’re in a personal slump.  Maybe you and the wife had a fight the night before.  Maybe it’s something you just can’t identify.  We've all been there.

What is a pastor to do then?

Answer:  You preach.

You show up and do your job.

You go in the strength of the Lord since yours is inadequate.

You depend on the same One who took a child’s small lunch and multiplied it to feed thousands.  You trust that He will do something similar with your message.

Ignore your own misgiving about the sermon.  You are a poor judge of your own preaching and what it actually accomplished.

After all, it was “God’s Word” you talked about, not yours.

You remind yourself that the Holy Spirit did a lot of things in church today and your sermon didn’t make or break the service.  People greeted each other in the Name of the Lord, chatted and connect on a personal level, hymns and gospel songs were sung, lives were enriched, the scriptures were read, and prayers offered.  Newcomers were welcomed and God’s people made new friends.

Ministries took place in a hundred places or more.

Were these things important?  You bet they were.

Before you stood to preach, the Holy Spirit had already done a hundred things in the congregation that were Christ-exalting, gospel-oriented, and Body-edifying.

No one hits it out of the ball park every time they get up to bat.  It’s okay to hit a single every now and then.  Even the best of preachers have an off day.

So when your sermon seems out of sync, get over it.  The kingdom was advanced, and that’s all that really matters.

Soli Deo Gloria (To God Alone Be Glory)

Pastoral Requirement: The Ability to Teach

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“An overseer (episkopos) then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, ABLE TO TEACH….” (I Timothy 3:2)

The main function of a pastor/elder is to feed the flock.  To do this, he must possess the ability to teach.  He must be skilled in teaching scripture.

In the OT God said through the prophet Jeremiah, “I will give you shepherds after My own heart who will lead you with knowledge and understanding (Jer. 3:15).  That’s how the flock is fed… with knowledge and understanding that comes from those who are able to teach.

So what’s the difference between preaching and teaching?

You can spend a lifetime trying to figure out the difference between the two and never arrive at an answer.  In fact, the Bible seems to use the two words interchangeable.  Nevertheless, everyone has their own idea of how they differ.  Usually, it goes something like this:

If the pastor is talking in a relatively normal voice, then he is teaching.  But if he begins yelling, then he is preaching.  (And the louder he gets, the more anointing he has).

Or, you can distinguish the difference between teaching and preaching by the location of his necktie.  If the pastor loosens his necktie and is sucking air, he is preaching.  But if he leaves the knot in the middle, he is teaching.

I’m not being facetious, people actually believe that!

When I first began in the ministry, my mannerisms when preaching were much difference then they are now.  I used to pace back and forth on the platform like a caged lion.  I fell into the linguistic trap of trying to sound anointed.  I yelled, and waved my arms as I tried to wax eloquent.

But one day I was listening to another preacher who said something like this:  “The content of your message should have enough substance that you don’t need theatrics.  Look at Jesus’ style; when He preached the greatest sermon ever preached (the Sermon on the Mount), the Bible says He sat down and taught them (Matthew 5:1-2).  He didn’t run around like a cat with His tail caught on fire.”

Then it dawned on me.  The power of the message is in the content, not my platform mannerisms.  Knowledge and understanding of God’s Word is what changes lives and feeds sheep.

That day, I stopped yelling and began to focus instead on teaching God’s Word. I stopped 'working the room.' I stopped preaching to 'get a response' from the crowd. Instead, I started digging deeper into content because I wanted people to learn knowledge and understanding.  I decided right then and there that it is more important to influence people rather than trying to impress them.

That’s why “able to teach” is so vital to pastoral ministry.

Teach them, pastor.

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Some People Make My Job a Joy

PCC has some incredible people.  They make my job a pure joy. 

These people are non-demanding and supportive.  They labor quietly, sacrificially serve, and financially support their church.  They are reliable, consistent, and always there.  Their attitude is good.  They are positive about Jesus and growing spiritually. 

They are “encouragers.” In fact, they might even have the gift of encouragement. Aside from ministering their gift to the body, they often direct it towards their pastor. These people can do more for my emotional well-being than a professionally trained therapist. They are gifts from God.

10 Things Every Pastor Should Know (but many don't)

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1.  If you are in the ministry as a career, get out now.  Yep, I’ve actually heard ministers refer to pastoring as a career.  Got out if that’s what you believe.  First of all, as a minister of the gospel, you don’t have a career.  You have a calling.  Secondly, put your eyes on the Lord and He will take care of you.

2.  Church is not about you, whether it’s flourishing or dying all around you.  Preach Jesus, know the Word, obey Scripture, love the people.  Get yourself out of the way!  He must increase; you must decrease.  John the Baptist said that – and a few days later he was beheaded.  It’s not your church, it’s His church and He is the builder of it – not you.

3.  The reason some people hate your guts rarely has anything to actually do with you.  Some people are sitting in the congregation angry at God, angry with their jobs, angry with themselves.  When their frustration boils over, they are looking for the easiest target – and God’s spokesperson usually ends up in their sights.  So try not to take everything personally, (which easier said than done and it will be one of the most difficult skills for you to learn).

4.  People will keep making more and more demands of you until you muster up the fortitude to take ownership of your own agenda.  If you don’t plan your schedule, others will plan it for you.

5.  As a pastor, you will always have someone angry with you.  You are asking people to swim upstream in a downstream world, against the current.  You are calling people to obey God – a God they have never seen.  You are insisting that church members be generous givers, urging them to love one another (and the unlovable), and warning them of God’s judgment.

Some people just don’t appreciate being told those things – because they have “itching ears” (2 Timothy 4:3) – and would rather be given pious platitudes.  They will remind you of the pastor they had twenty years ago, who was “the sweetest and kindest man ever.”

6.  Your doctorate may impress some people, but as a general rule they’re not the kind of people you want to impress.  Earn your degree(s) for a better reason than this.  I’m all for theological training have the parchment to prove it.  Your degrees will have little to do with the real life world of pastoring.  Ministry in the trenches is much different than the classroom.

7.  If you don’t protect your family, no one else will.  And you will live to regret it.  Do not sacrifice your family on the altar of success or denominational prominence.  It’s not worth it.  Make time for your family every week and protect it as fiercely as you do the Sunday morning hours at church.  Get your kids little league schedule and pencil it in on your calendar, then work all other meetings and events around it.  You will never regret missing a committee meeting, but in short time your kids will be grown and you’ll be glad you got this one right.

8.  Granted, you don’t pray very well.  No one does.  Pray anyway.  “We don’t know how to pray as we should” (Romans 8:26).  But don’t let that stop you.  The Holy Spirit makes up the gap.  Besides, this is how you stay in touch with the Lord.

9.  Pastors are mood-setters for the congregation.  This is why I believe pastors should serve as hosts of the worship service on Sunday (and not just bring a sermon at the appointed time).  By his joy, the victory he enjoys in Christ, and his love for people, he can make a world of difference in how people worship.

10.  There are times to leave the office (pastors study) and have coffee with the staff – and anyone else in the membership – in a relaxed atmosphere.  This is every bit as important as anything else in your (and their) day.  Laugh with them.  Listen to their stories of children and grandchildren, how they dealt with a crank neighbor, what happened at work the other day.  When you get back to the study, you will have several sermon illustrations and be forever bonded with those terrific people.

What I Woudl Do Differently

I have been in the minsitry for more than half my life, and have learn some valuable lessons along the way - most in the school of hard knocks.  If I were to advise a new pastor who was beginning his ministry today, here’s what I would suggest:

1.  Quit living and dying by the numbers each Sunday.  Yes, numbers count because every number represents a person for whom Jesus died.  But numbers can be torturous too. Live by the numbers, pastor, and you will die by them.

2.  Turn over more responsibility to key people, empower them, and then support them before the congregation.  And when some of the members begin whining because “We want the pastor, not an assistant” I would tell them to get over it, and have the strength to stick to the plan.

I’m sorry I let myself be manipulated by people who insisted I be the one to show up at their events or was the one they preferred to visit their hospital room, etc, even though plenty of others were just as qualified as me.  It ran me ragged and the church suffered for it.

3.  Reserve the morning hours for secluded study of God’s Word and sermon preparation.  Even if it means staying home during these hours, I would do it.  There are too many distractions, interruptions, phone calls, or walk-ins that will throw you off.  Pastors are under a seven-day deadline every single week to deliver another message.  The pressure of doing this week-after-week, month-after-month, year-after-year, is something most people do not experience in their line of work, so they won’t understand.  Doesn’t matter.  Do it anyway.  Your pulpit ministry will be much better.

Early in my ministry I spent too much time visiting hospitals, attending denominational meetings, or keeping morning appointments so I could check those tasks off the list and then have the rest of the day for other things.  Consequently, I was always behind on sermon preparation and found myself burning the midnight oil on Friday or Saturday night too often.  And my pulpit ministry suffered for it.

4.  I would not do any counseling.  Early in my ministry people would call me for counseling appointments, to which I gladly agreed.  Those time-slots would crowd out everything else on the calendar that day.  When word got out that I was a “counseling preacher” I was inundated with counseling appointments – sometimes three or four a day.  That’s more than any professional counselor schedules in his/her workday (not to mention they charge $75-$100 an hour)!

Of course, these appointments were in addition to all of my regular pastoral duties and personal responsibilities to my family.  When I dragged home for dinner in the evening, I had no energy for anything but sleep.

I eventually figured out that it is better to say no to most counseling appointments or refer them to professionals (who are much better at it than I am) even if it means being criticized.  The reasons far outweigh the consequences.

5.  I would be more straightforward and a little less “the nice guy” to church bullies or squeaky wheels who always expect to get their way in the church.  Every church has a few bullies.  Early in my ministry I was intimidated by them.  By the time I planted PCC I was seasoned enough to know how deal with them.  It’s why I am still here and they are not.

6.  Take better care of yourself and your family.  Put your family first, before church work.  Most pastors do not intentionally neglect their spouse and children.  Rather, they are trying as hard as they can to serve God by “fulfilling the ministry” (Colossians 4:17) to which they have been called.  But somewhere along the way, that’s exactly what they do – neglect their families by doing too much church work.

To enter the ministry is to live in a world of unfinished tasks, with more work to be done, and more people to be helped.  When you drop your head on the pillow at night, you can always think of more things that need to be done, people who still need a call, sermons to prepare, and projects that need attention.

That’s the real-world life of a pastor, and if you are not careful your wife and children will get the dregs of your time, the leftovers of your attention, and the last of your energies.

So here’s my advice.  Build some margin into your schedule.  Take more time off.  Don’t work so many evenings or after-hours.  Attend fewer meetings.  Take longer vacations.  Go camping, fishing, hiking, whatever. 

And have a life outside of church-life.

Leading From Fear

Do not be afraid of their faces, for I am with you…” (Jeremiah 1:8)

Recently a church leader was asked, “Why is it taking so long for your church to find a new pastor?”

He replied, “Because our search committee is afraid.  They know that certain members of our congregation are quick to pick apart any minister who isn’t like the previous pastor, and they don’t want to take any chances.”

Would you believe that most church leaders operate from fear?

For instance…

--Leaders operate from fear when they are willing to change the direction of the church, its philosophy, its mission, or its structure because of the latest criticisim.

--Leaders operate from fear when they poll the congregation to see what they want in the next pastor… the next program… what the next building should be, and so forth.

The hard reality is that the congregation does not know what it wants or needs, so quit asking them.

The Word of God has already defined what God’s people need.

Lead or get out of the way.

--Leaders operate from fear when they fail to take a position (which is clearly defined by the Bible) because they believe it will be unpopular with certain people in the congregation. That’s why courage is so essential to church leadership.

--Leaders operate from fear when they allow programs to continue even when those programs are no longer effective or are dead in the water.  Two or three squeaky wheels does not mean a mandate for the entire church.

--Pastors may fear being fired or key members leaving the church if they take a stand on a critical issue.  They slip into a rut of being people-pleasers and fool themselves into thinking they are doing well if no one is attacking them.

Leaders who cannot abide criticism have no business in the ministry.

Leaders who are afraid of those whom they have been sent to... should turn in their credentials and become used car salesmen instead.

“Do not fear them,” God told Jeremiah," or "I will humiliate you in front of them” (Jeremiah 1:17).

--Leaders who fear the church business meeting more than they do the Judgment Seat of Christ ought to drop to their knees in shame and ask God for mercy and another chance to get it right!

I know pastors who are deathly afraid that the old people in the congregation will complain if someone brings a guitar into the church service or uses a projector  to project the words on a screen.  The fact is most of the seniors would love those things!  It is the vocal few (you know, the squeaky wheels) who are calling the shots and the spineless pastors are letting them get away with it!

I see churches who turn away from the lost people in their community because of some (super-spiritual types) in the congregation will be offended that the unwashed or the ill-mannered or the untaught or non-white-person are filling their pews (pews which they would prefer to see vacant than occupied by such). 

God help us.

True leaders are servants of the congregation.  However, leaders do not take their orders from the congregation.  We get our orders from the Lord… from God’s written Word.

Let’s get it right, pastor.