Today, I am saddened to hear of another pastor who has fallen morally. I knew M.L. casually, but have felt closely connected to him because he is a church planter who blogs. I have read his blog daily for the last three years, and have had a few conversations with him over that time. Although much younger than me, he has become quite a leader in recent years and very successful.
It all ended today.
According to his confession he has been having an affair for the last 28 months! This was not a one-time slip-and-fall. This was on-going. He has been living a double life for a long time. Right on the heels of my recent message about Joseph and Potiphar’s wife, let me offer a few points of advice about interaction with members of the opposite sex:
1. Get Real. Most people don’t plan to have an affair. Most people think it could never happen to them. Be smarter than this. It can happen to you.
2. Ask for accountability. By accountability, I don’t mean people who have you elevated on a pedestal and will tell you only what you want to hear. Surround yourself with godly men & women who will speak truth to you… in your face truth.
3. Establish and Write Out Integrity Convictions. A few of mine are: Never be alone with members of the opposite sex, especially behind closed doors. Never travel alone with members of the opposite sex. Don’t confide in members of the opposite sex. Guard your eyes. I have lived by these self-imposed rules all of my married life – for almost 30 years – and it’s been good for me. This may sound rigid to most people, (especially the world), but Integrity Convictions will protect you.
4. Keep short accounts with God and with other people. If you have unconfessed sin in your life, you are vulnerable to bigger sins. Deal with it. Small things grow into big things. Little foxes spoil the vine. (Song of Solomon 2:15).
5. Think of the consequences before hand. It’s easy to get intoxicated on the “idea” of being with the wrong person, but the fear of what “could” happen to your life, if you follow through, is a sobering tonic.
For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality… (I Thessalonians 4:3).