Thursday, August 7, 2014

Memo to Young Men - Please Grow Up

Historically, a guy would go through two basic phases of life:  boyhood, then manhood.  The transition would involve predictable steps:
(1) Leave your parents home
(2) Finish your education or vocational training
(3) Start a career track, not a dead-end job
(4)  Meet a woman, love her, honor her, court her, and marry her
(5) Start a family and provide for them

However a new trend has emerged.  Rather than moving from boyhood to manhood, a lot of young men remain stuck in boyhood.  They have no desire to grow up and become real men, and no pressure is exerted upon them to do so.

A new word has been coined to describe this trend:  adultolescence.  These are twenty-something-(or thirty-something)-year-old males who are stuck in adolescence.  They are boys who can shave, but they haven’t turned into men.

They consume women, porn, alcohol, drugs, television, music, video games, toys, trucks, sports, and fantasy leagues, as if being a man is defined by how much meat you can push through your colon, how many beer cans you can smash, how loud you can belch, how fast you can drive, how far you can spit tobacco juice, how hard you can party, and how big your sub-woofers are.

The artsy, effeminate type of boy-man are prima donnas  who consume clothes, decaf lattes, herbal tea, prissy shoes, cars (not trucks), electronic gadgets, hair products, manicures, pedicures, and underwear with the names of very important people written on the waistband.  For them, manhood means being in touch with ones feelings, wardrobe, and appearance.

Then there are the legion of parents, relatives, and girlfriends, who enable these boys to remain stuck.  They pay his bills, pick up his messes, loan him the car, provide his utilities, make his dinner, wash his clothes, and purchase his tobacco.

This perpetual immaturity is also fueled by pop culture.  We are inundated with images that promote a full-scale revolt against growing up. Music, clothing, movies, body art, body piercings, and immoral values all communicate the same message - do what you feel, and go with the flow.  

It’s a Peter Pan Syndrome of living in Never Never Land.  They drift from job to job, live with parents or crew of buddies, and focus most of their energy on drinking, carousing, watching sports, hanging out in bars, looking at free internet porn, and chasing easy girls.

Because they are directionless, these guys don’t declare a major, a career, a church, a theology, or a fiancé. 

Men are supposed to be producers.  Men are defined by their legacy – the life and fruit that comes out of them.  Real men make things and produce things.  They win the heart of a woman, start a family, provide for them, build a life, build homes, start businesses, make money, prosper, provide spiritual leadership, and other numerous things of substance.

Young men should exercise the discipline of thinking like godly men; that is, biblically.  

Here’s the cold hard truth: young men need to grow up!  God is a Creator and you were made in His image.  So create something!  Start a career.  Start a family.  Create a ministry.  Be a giver, not a taker.  Be a producer, not just a consumer.  Stop looking for the path of least resistance.  Take the path of self-discipline and hard work to accomplish something significant with your life – because it brings honor to God and makes you a man of substance – which is the kind of man a woman would like to marry and have children with.

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