Divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but it feels like there's less of you. It's even worse if you didn't want the divorce, or have felt abandoned by a church that punishes divorced people. So, how can you "walk through this fire" and survive? Here are four suggestions:
1. Forgive yourself. "I...am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more" (Isaiah 43:25 NIV). God forgives and forgets, and He will give you the grace to forgive yourself, too. Healing begins when you quit punishing yourself.
2. Forgive those who've hurt you. Forgiveness is the one power you always have over anybody who hurts you. So keep on forgiving until the past no longer controls you. Make forgiveness your fixed attitude! Only by forgiving (or “letting go”) can you lay it down and move on.
3. Take your time. This point is very important. Don't make any big changes right now. You're on an emotional roller coaster, vacillating between wanting him/her back and wanting them to suffer. You're vulnerable to other people's comments and easily drawn toward anybody who pays you attention. Slow down! Healthy people make healthy choices, so spend time reading God's Word, praying, seeking counsel, and allowing yourself to be made whole.
4. Start giving back. "Your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to Him" (2 Chronicles 30:9 NIV). Realizing God hasn't turned His back on you, is what enables you to "Comfort those in any trouble with the comfort [you] have received from God" (2 Corinthians 1:4 NIV). When that happens you are on a journey to becoming whole again, your future is bright and your possibilities unlimited.