Once again it has become very apparent to me (in the last several weeks) how temperamental some professional church hoppers really are.
For instance: (And BTW, this happens all the time in the ministry)
Some people will show up to PCC and begin attending with us. They will attend PCC for a period of months without ever really committing. And each time I talk with them they will insinuate or imply that I/we still have not measured up to their approval yet. “I’m still trying to decide.” they will say. Or, “We’re still searching for a church.” Or, “this church doesn’t have this flavor, or that flavor.” Or, “Your church doesn’t do this or do that… or whatever.”
During this period of time that they are “still trying to decide” if we meet their approval or not, they are enjoying the benefits of this ministry – essentially eating at the table for free and taking the best we have to offer. And they expect me to just stand there and just take it with a straight face and loving smile as they regurgitate that attitude of superiority on me (because that’s what pastors are supposed to do, I guess). They usually don't like my response. It's like they believe they can say anything they want... critique, criticize, evaluate, imply disapproval, and expect me to ingratiate myself to them. But the moment I express my view on the matter, well, the fertilizer hits the fan. They instantly disfellowship me, stop speaking to me, write ugly letters, or stick their nose up. It’s like they expect those conversations to be one-side - they’re allowed to say anything they want but I shouldn’t speak back into that very same situation (that they raised). I don't play that game. And I don't mind telling them what they need (but don't want) to hear!
People like that are burdensome. It is very draining to keep making investments into shallow church hoppers who never commit.
Still trying to decide? I can help you.